'Bout Time!

Felicity and I after church in mid-September

Felicity on her Daddy's lap wearing her monster hat for the first time. I'm thinking that might become part of her Halloween costume?!

Oh my gosh I am blogging! I am seriously as shocked as my few sweet followers are. I know that I am not the blogging type; I can no longer pretend that it is my sort of "thing". However, just a few minutes ago, while sitting in the quiet on the couch next to Sully, I suddenly got the desire to blog again. I better do it while I'm feelin' it! And this really shouldn't be long...it's past my bedtime and I've got a busy day ahead of me tomorrow!

Just the other day, I was at a friend's house and she told me that she keeps a blog and then prints it out into a hardcover book, so now she has books detailing the growth of her children and happenings of her family. What a fabulous idea! I don't know if I will do that, but I will write about Felicity because I know that years down the road I will not remember what this sweet baby is like at this moment. So, here is some insight into this precious little girl called Felicity:

Felicity is about one week short of being 6 months old. This really blows me away, but I have actually gotten used to constantly be amazed by how quickly she grows and how fast time flies. No wonder parents always say, "They grow up too fast!" About a week and a half ago, I allowed F to gnaw (is that how you spell that?!) on my finger to ease her pain caused by teething. She has been gnawing and drooling for months but still saw no teeth. When she was chewing on me, I felt something sharp! It was a tooth! One had finally popped out! I was so excited because 1)this is such a big milestone and 2)that explained her fussiness for the past few days! Growing a tooth isn't easy! Just a few days ago, we saw tooth number two show up right next to it- two little bottom teeth! When I pull her lip down to look at them, she puts her tongue over them so I can't see them, so I have to catch glimpses when she's smiling really big (which she's been doing a lot lately!)

Felicity experienced her coldest weather yet this morning. Not like it was THAT cold, but it was colder than anything she's felt (maybe in the 50s?). I bundled her up in a blanket, a jacket from her Gran and a hat made by Kathryn Neidhardt and she enjoyed looking around the neighborhood as she always does when we go on walks.

Felicity now eats 4 times a day, which makes for a pretty easy schedule for us! She has always been a champion eater, except when reflux kept her from it! But that's some good news too- she hasn't take her medicine for reflux in 5 days! She spit up twice but that was only because she was really worked up before eating. I think she has grown out of reflux! And as far as feedings go, be encouraged new moms! One day your sweet baby will go many hours in between feedings and you can do lots of fun things in between feedings!

Felicity loves to pet Sully. She is always reaching out to him when he is nearby. The trouble is that when she pets Sully, she often grabs a chunk of his skin and pulls on it. That's when I gently pry her away from him while telling Sully again and again that's he's a very good dog. And then he gets a treat! So, he's happy in the end! But really, he has done GREAT with Felicity. For his sake though, we are working on gently petting Sully (:

One of my favorite things to do is to go into Felicity's room, not long after she's woken up from a nap while she's just kind of looking around the room, and crawl on my knees just below the level of her mattress. Then I pop my head up into her sight and surprise her! Then she smiles/laughs and I laugh and then we do it again and again! It's SO fun! I really think I might have more fun than she does!

I really could go on and on about the changes she's going through and the thoughts that run through this new mom's head. But, like I said, I should go to bed and keep this at a more desirable length for my readers (: Writing this has been fun, and who knows....maybe I'll feel inspired again soon?!

Love to you all!

P.S. Despite the fact that I try to disperse pictures throughout my blog, they always just show up at the top...sorry about that!

And then there were three

Well, it's about time that I shared all the gory details of my labor story. Well okay I won't really share all the gory details because I just don't feel comfortable doing that on the internet. But seriously, any details that are not included you are more than welcome to ask me about. As a friend of mine always says, "I am an open book." And I am....ask away!

As you probably already know, I went into the hospital to be induced on Tuesday, April 6 because my doctor felt it would be best for Felicity to come on out. So, because I trust him because he brought both me and my sister into the world over 20 years ago, I decided to comply. Daniel got off work early and my sister Kristin and my Mom came over to help us to get things in order before going to the hospital. By 4 p.m. Daniel and I were at Northside Hospital. It took quite a while to fill out all of the paperwork and it left me wondering how people who are truly in labor have time and patience to sit and sign pages and pages of stuff. Hmm.

The first of many nice nurses who cared for me, Carol, checked me and confirmed that I was still indeed only 1 cm dilated so I would receive Cervidil to help my body to further dilate. At 7 p.m. the Cervidil was inserted. I was supposed to be able to rest all night while Cervidil did its job and then receive Pitocin in the morning to start the contractions, but alas, we did not go according to the plan! My contractions quickly picked up and occured about every 4 minutes at first, but were rapidly growing closer together and more intense, i.e. more painful. Daniel and I decided to watch Hannah Montana the movie. Haha I know this sounds quite humorous but we had started it the night before and just had to see what happened in the end. So, we rested in bed, watched the movie, contacted friends, and ate dinner still assuming that things would go according to plan.

The nurses had encouraged me to take Ambien so that I could sleep through the worsening contractions, so I finally agreed after some persuasion. At midnight I took the Ambien and was told I only had about 20 more minutes that I could walk around because walking is not adviced while on a medication used to make you sleep! So, I continued walking around as long as I was allowed because being up and moving or rocking in a chair was the only way that I could get some relief from the increasingly intense pain from contractions. Because the nurses told me I should be able to sleep through the contractions, I finally got in bed thinking either that a) the Cervidil was working much quicker than expected or b) I was a total wimp for thinking that the pain I was feeling was intense because I was supposed to have many many more hours of labor left and this was just the beginning of the pain! So, from about 1-2 a.m., Daniel slept on his tiny little couch-bed and I dozed in and out of weird Ambien/hippy dreams to be awakened for a minute-long contraction every 3 minutes. At 2 I finally woke Daniel up because the pain was increasing and laying in bed just seemed impossibly uncomfortable for me. For the next hour Daniel helped me to deal with the pain while I rocked and tried going to the bathroom several times (I felt like I had to go but nothing ever came out! Hmm...I knew labor was surely moving quicker than expected at the point, but the nurses seemed to think I was just being whiney!)

Finally at 3 a.m. a nurse agreed to check my cervix because the Cervidil has been in for 8 hours at the point. She checked me and was very surprised to find that I was already dilated to 5 cm. She removed the Cervidil and decided that it would be a great time to get my epidural. So, I was hooked up to the IV to receive some fluids to combat low blood pressure often brought on by an epidural. Now, for those of you who know me well, you know that I am not a big fan of taking any sort of medication for pain, sickness, etc. Thus, the reason I was initially opposed to getting an epidural. However, because of the anomaly on my brain (most likely not problematic, but it could be at some point in my life) my doctor said he would be more comfortable if I got an epidural, so I agreed to get one. I was slightly disappointed with this though because I wanted to be able to experience all the pain of labor, as crazy as it sounds! But, like I said, I agreed to get the epidural and had the nurse send in the anesthesiologist to give it to me. The anesthesiologist arrived at about 4 a.m. and had quite a difficult time giving me the epidural because at that point I was having intensely painful contractions every other minute and I had "the shakes" like crazy! Daniel and the nurse literally had to hold me down while I got the epidural. Because I was moving so much, the anesthesiologist missed on his first try and sent blood spewing out of my back (now doesn't that sound quite dramatic?!). But, he succeeded on his second try. Daniel, who has a passion for anesthesia (except he gives it to animals!), was quite impressed with the skill of the anesthesiologist. As I was receiving the epidural, I cried out that something was coming out of me that didn't feel like it should be. After receiving the epidural, the nurse decided to take a look and also to see how far dilated I was. Imagine our surprise (well I wasn't too surprised considering how I felt!) when the nurse saw that my unruptured bag of waters had come out! That is what came out of me that didn't quite feel right! The nurse was both surprised and giddy with excitement because apparently that rarely ever happens (when a woman's "water breaks", the bag of waters ruptures. If this doesn't happen before labor begins, the doctor usually breaks it.) When she checked me, she found that I was already dilated 10 cm. I went from 5 to 10 cm in an hour! In other words, it was time to push! This was great news for me considering the fact that I was resistant to the idea of receiving an epidural. Many women say that the transition phase, when you dilate for 7-8 cm to 10 cm, is the most painful part of labor and I was so glad that I got to experience that part of labor without an epidural! The epidural did provide some welcome relief though as I waited for the doctor to arrive and for the nurses to prepare for Felicity's arrival.

Speaking of doctors, my doctor was busy delivering another baby so we had the hospital's doctor on-call come to deliver Felicity. Soon after she came to my room, she had to leave to deliver another baby! It was quite a busy time a Northside Hospital! So, our wonderful nurse and Daniel coached me through most of the pushing! (Daniel was a most excellent coach, by the way.) I admit that I was an awful pusher though! Between having the Ambien and the fresh epidural, I could feel nothing and could hardly stay awake. I was literally falling asleep between contractions. After many minutes of pushing, the nurse suggested we take a break and I gladly accepted that offer. While dozing in and out of sleep, I asked Daniel to download "Eye of the Tiger" to inspire me as I pushed. Yep, seriously. So, he quickly got on I Tunes and obliged. Why "Eye of the Tiger" you ask? That song always makes me want to wake up really early and go running. Seriously. I never do, it just makes me want to. In other words, it gets me pumped up!!! So, the nurse returned and eventually the doctor came back and I continued pushing while "Eye of the Tiger" played on repeat in the background. After about an hour and a half of pushing, Felicity finally made her entrance into the world! It was a truly beautiful moment that I wouldn't trade for the world. After I held her for a bit, Felicity was quickly whisked away to be checked out by the nurse. She was brought back to me once they saw that she was healthy and I was able to feed her for the first time. What a blessing! And thus began our lives together....

Meant to Be

I started this blog post about a week ago. Ha! Caring for a newborn has obviously eaten up all my time, but it is more than worth it! So,while Felicity naps, here goes:

This time last year, I was not thinking about having children any time in the near future. Sure, Daniel and I had had the "when do we want to have kids?" conversation several times, but 2010 was never part of the plan. Daniel was leaning toward wanting to try about a year after his graduation (which would be right about now), but I wanted at least 2-3 years of kid-free time post graduation. I wanted to follow that advice that I had heard so many times before: "Wait a long time before having kids! Go live your life before you're tied down to your children!"

However, once I quit my job and had some time to pray about finding my calling, I could not deny the fact that a mother was what I wanted to be. This was obvious to Daniel before it was to me, as I took several pregnancy tests when I stopped taking birth control (for reasons other than wanting to get pregnant) and always ended up feeling disappointed when I saw the negative test results. I always asked him, "Why am I sad that this is negative?! I don't want kids right now!" and he always answered, "I think it's because you actually want to have kids now". As always, it took me longer to admit my true heart's desire. Being honest with yourself is scary, isn't it?

So, once I was finally honest with myself, we tried....and succeeded....very quickly. And I haven't felt so right about something in a long time. Caring for Felicity so far has been exhausting, frustrating, and terrifying. Until last night, I hadn't slept for more than 2 hours at a time in almost 2 weeks. I am already tired of changing diapers and we are already almost out of wipes. Breastfeeding can be messy and discouraging. I am still sore from the delivery. But, I could really care less about all of these things that seem to be working against me. I can't complain, not even for a second. Well, I guess I may have complained a little, but even when things get difficult I am very glad that Felicity is here. Even in the most challenging times, I don't doubt that being a mom is what I should be doing and what I want to be doing right now.

To Conclude: I guess I would say that while I may have missed out on some of those "Live it up!" years, what I never realized (and definitely never would have admitted in college) is that raising Felicity can be more fulfilling than any of the plans I had back then. Turns out, settling down isn't settling at all...

FYI on the Picture: This picture was taken at the hospital after all of our visitors had left for the night. While it isn't the most artistic, it's one of my favorites. Felicity and I had a few uninterrupted minutes between feeding/changing/burping her and before I collapsed in a heap on the bed. I so cherish these quiet moments with Felicity.

Felicity's Blog Debute!

It's Kristin again! And as promised, here are some pictures from my visit to the hospital this morning.

Kirby, Daniel, and Felicity are all doing great, with the exception of being extremely exhausted!!! I have total liberty to brag (because I'm the aunt and that's what I'm supposed to do) that Felicity is beautiful. She didn't make a peep the whole time we were visiting either!

Here's a small sampling of the photo shoot! More to come later!