Yesterday morning, I came across this:
"There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven-
A time to give birth and a time to die..." Ecclesiastes 3:1 and 2
...and it could not have been put in my life at a better time. I had been having mildly painful contractions all weekend and kept thinking that labor would start any day now! Before my ob appointment yesterday afternoon, I kept envisioning that I'd go to the appointment and the doctor would send me to the hospital to be induced or tell me that labor was quickly approaching! But, once I read this scripture, I thought, "Oh yeah, I don't want labor to happen when I want it; I want it in God's perfect timing. And He knows when Felicity will be born and every little thing that will happen in between now and then. I don't want her to be born any other time than the time God has chosen for her!" And this mindset, my friends, is so much more enjoyable than trying to figure out exactly when she will come (:
So, since you all are probably wondering what the ob did actually say yesterday, I'll tell you: I was barely dilated a centimeter (you must be 10 cm before the you can start pushing) and he expects to see me at my scheduled appointment next week, as opposed to seeing me in the maternity ward at Northside in between now and then. So, although little Felicity Mae might decide to come in between now and then, for now I am going to squeeze in as many dates with my hubby, cuddles with Sully, naps and lazy mornings, long walks in the Spring sun, visits with friends, and other fun things as I can. Till next time, love y'all (:
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
An Imperfect Nest
I had an epiphany on Monday night: I am building quite the imperfect nest for little Felicity Mae, and that is a great thing. Let me explain:
Just as all moms-to-be do, I have had a strong desire to get all things perfectly in order for Felicity's arrival. The list of things to do went on and on in my head; there was never time for rest. From packing my hospital bag to typing instructions for Sully's care while I am in the hospital, washing the layette, writing thank you cards, buying the remaining necessities we'll need in her first few days, going to breastfeeding class, reorganizing that dresser in her closet so we'll have room for her clothes, creating my birthing plan...the list truely goes on for several pages. All the while I was still struggling to keep up with my usual responsibilities like laundry and ironing and grocery shopping and cleaning the floors and cooking nutritious meals and exercising and washing dishes and Bible study and maintaining relationships and so on and so forth. Rest was definitely hard to come by and I constantly felt the need to push myself so that all things would be just as I imagined they should. (Once again I want to take time to commend women who prepare for a child while working full time; I admire and respect you greatly!)
After I got minimal sleep on Sunday night and then pushed myself to make some check marks on that long list on Monday, Daniel came home Monday afternoon to a slightly neurotic, control-freakish sort of wife. Tension between us soon appeared and quickly increased as the night wore on and the honey-do list grew, and eventually we both got in bed feeling exhausted, frustrated, and like something had to change. Crazy, perfection-seeking Kirby was wearing both of us out. So, after many minutes of discussion, I had an epiphany for which I thank God(!): Felicity would be okay if that dresser full of linens was still in her closet when she was born. She would fare just fine and never know the difference if the apartment were an absolute disaster the first time she set eyes on it. Life will continue after she is born; I don't have to get everything done before she arrives. I also remembered 2 things that I've been saying but not living all throughout my pregnancy: 1) I don't know how many days I will have with Felicity, only God knows that. However, I don't want for either of us to look back on our time together and remember my anxiety and perfectionistic tendencies and how they took us from enjoying precious time together. I want to know that my time spent with her was filled with showing her love and being grateful for the gift that she is, even if that means we have some dirty dishes in the sink at the end of the day. 2) Daniel and I will never be completely ready for Felicity. There will always be something left undone, something incomplete. Pregnancy has been a blessing, and I want to know that I spent my pregnancy cherishing time with my sweet mate while preparing for our little one as best as we can.
Now, don't get me wrong: I have not thrown in the towel and stopped preparing for her altogether, despite how the below pictures appear! However, I have been reminded that I am imperfect and so is the work that I do. I am only human and I am limited in what I can accomplish. As my parents told me probably almost as often as they told me they loved me (which was quite frequently!), the best I can do is all that I can do. Our little apartment nest we've created will never be perfect or appear to be perfect. While I do love to serve my husband and guests by welcoming them into a warm, cozy environment and I intend to continue doing so once I'm a mother, I will also have to say "no" at times to the pile of laundry or unclean floor waiting to be dealt with. I do hope that despite the messiness, disorganization, and faulty parents that Felicity will be greeted by, she will know love, gratitude, and time spent enjoying the life she's been given. So, little Felicity, welcome to our imperfect nest in which we hope to love you well (:
Felicity's messy changing table. Take note of the beautiful diaper cake my sister made for me!
The aforementioned dresser in Felicity's closet, complete with printer on top:
Felicity's beautiful crib, lacking a mattress pad and mobile. You'll be glad to know that I washed and dried the mattress pads while blogging and that the mobile is in the mail (:
And just because he's super cute, here's a picture of Sully with Felicity's book collection:
Just as all moms-to-be do, I have had a strong desire to get all things perfectly in order for Felicity's arrival. The list of things to do went on and on in my head; there was never time for rest. From packing my hospital bag to typing instructions for Sully's care while I am in the hospital, washing the layette, writing thank you cards, buying the remaining necessities we'll need in her first few days, going to breastfeeding class, reorganizing that dresser in her closet so we'll have room for her clothes, creating my birthing plan...the list truely goes on for several pages. All the while I was still struggling to keep up with my usual responsibilities like laundry and ironing and grocery shopping and cleaning the floors and cooking nutritious meals and exercising and washing dishes and Bible study and maintaining relationships and so on and so forth. Rest was definitely hard to come by and I constantly felt the need to push myself so that all things would be just as I imagined they should. (Once again I want to take time to commend women who prepare for a child while working full time; I admire and respect you greatly!)
After I got minimal sleep on Sunday night and then pushed myself to make some check marks on that long list on Monday, Daniel came home Monday afternoon to a slightly neurotic, control-freakish sort of wife. Tension between us soon appeared and quickly increased as the night wore on and the honey-do list grew, and eventually we both got in bed feeling exhausted, frustrated, and like something had to change. Crazy, perfection-seeking Kirby was wearing both of us out. So, after many minutes of discussion, I had an epiphany for which I thank God(!): Felicity would be okay if that dresser full of linens was still in her closet when she was born. She would fare just fine and never know the difference if the apartment were an absolute disaster the first time she set eyes on it. Life will continue after she is born; I don't have to get everything done before she arrives. I also remembered 2 things that I've been saying but not living all throughout my pregnancy: 1) I don't know how many days I will have with Felicity, only God knows that. However, I don't want for either of us to look back on our time together and remember my anxiety and perfectionistic tendencies and how they took us from enjoying precious time together. I want to know that my time spent with her was filled with showing her love and being grateful for the gift that she is, even if that means we have some dirty dishes in the sink at the end of the day. 2) Daniel and I will never be completely ready for Felicity. There will always be something left undone, something incomplete. Pregnancy has been a blessing, and I want to know that I spent my pregnancy cherishing time with my sweet mate while preparing for our little one as best as we can.
Now, don't get me wrong: I have not thrown in the towel and stopped preparing for her altogether, despite how the below pictures appear! However, I have been reminded that I am imperfect and so is the work that I do. I am only human and I am limited in what I can accomplish. As my parents told me probably almost as often as they told me they loved me (which was quite frequently!), the best I can do is all that I can do. Our little apartment nest we've created will never be perfect or appear to be perfect. While I do love to serve my husband and guests by welcoming them into a warm, cozy environment and I intend to continue doing so once I'm a mother, I will also have to say "no" at times to the pile of laundry or unclean floor waiting to be dealt with. I do hope that despite the messiness, disorganization, and faulty parents that Felicity will be greeted by, she will know love, gratitude, and time spent enjoying the life she's been given. So, little Felicity, welcome to our imperfect nest in which we hope to love you well (:
My not-quite-completely-packed hospital bag. Sully's constant digging in it is partially to blame.
Felicity's messy changing table. Take note of the beautiful diaper cake my sister made for me!
The aforementioned dresser in Felicity's closet, complete with printer on top:
Felicity's beautiful crib, lacking a mattress pad and mobile. You'll be glad to know that I washed and dried the mattress pads while blogging and that the mobile is in the mail (:
And just because he's super cute, here's a picture of Sully with Felicity's book collection:
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
It's REALLY happening!
Good morning, friends! I can hardly believe it myself, but I am actually writing my first blog post. This has been in the making for many many months. Not that I have actually been writing this post for many months, but the thought of writing it has been there for quite some time. I first thought of writing a blog in the summer of 2009, just after I had moved into my new home in Atlanta and was obviously entering a new phase in life involving being a homemaker, being an Atlantan, being a dog owner, being the wife of a (very handsome and ambitious) veterinarian, and being pregnant. This, for sure, has been a blessed time in my life! While I greatly appreciate, miss, and value my time in Knoxville as a hospice Volunteer Coordinator and wife of a vet. student, I was ready for some new adventures and the Lord has surely provided them! This morning I can hardly contain the excitement I feel about what is to come and the gratitude I feel toward what the Lord has brought me through. Praise His Name!
I clearly put the blog-writing idea on the backburner for a while, until just before Christmas a friend suggested I write a blog so that friends could better follow the progression of my pregnancy. This confirmed to me that writing a blog might actually be a good use of my time and that people are genuinely interested in my life. The fact that people might want to read about me was actually quite a surprise to me! My hope, though, is that this blog will be full of praises to the Lord and that somehow the experiences about which I write can be helpful to others. This blog will by no means be strictly about pregnancy, especially since there is just about one month until the big day! I think I will just write about whatever the Holy Spirit puts on my heart and mind, and trust in God to make my words useful!
I think that I will keep today's post short and sweet, but will end with a big finale. First, thank you very much to those who encouraged me to get my blog started and a very big thank you to Anna Cleland, my sister-in-law, who made my blog look pretty in an effort to get me posting sooner (: I really was quite hesitant to start my blog because it just did not look as pretty as I wanted, until of course Anna got ahold of it and made it look post-worthy. She seems to be a natural at such things. Also, thank you to God, for blessing me in this time of life, for allowing me time to write this blog and do so many wonderful things I enjoy: keep up with the home for Daniel (this is so much more enjoyable than I ever thought it would be!), prepare for our baby girl, reconnect with old friends, spend time getting to better know Him, better learn to cook and bake, exercise, make new friends, and so much more. The list goes on and on!
And, finally, the moment which you've all been waiting for....unless of course you were one of the handful of people who already knows our daughter's name......her name is......
Felicity Mae Cleland
Felicity meaning "happy, bringer of happiness, or joy" and Mae being my paternal grandmother's name. That's our little girl, expected to arrive in about a month (: More about her in the future I'm sure. I hope that somehow this blog blesses you and please be sure to let me know what you want for me to write about. Take care, my friends!
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