December.

A brief little nonexhaustive summary of the final month of 2012:



Excitement!  Excitement about excitement!

Design.  Loving design.

Awkward Christmas cards.  Crying about awkward Christmas cards.  Wondering, "How does one with a lost child create an un-awkward Christmas card?"

Assembly line Christmas cards (at home).  Daniel the super-helper.

Wrapping. 

No procrastination, and then wondering, "Why didn't I procrastinate this year?"

Sickness and isolation.  Feeling crazy as a result.  More sickness and isolation.

Firewood.  The song, not the stuff.

Fires...gas...

Cuddles and dates and ice cream and baking with the little one.

Lights. 

Frustratedly sewing and creating a little Russian girl, affectionately named "Doll".

A quick ride on the big and scary Pink Pig!  Daddy saved the day!

Family.  Glad for family.

Shock.  Sadness. 

More wondering. 

Dread.

Darting here and darting there.  Contemplating avoidance.

Hopefulness. 

Sparkly nails (because, though I love sparkles, I wonder how this stay-at-home can justify wearing sparkles anywhere but her nails).

Giving and enjoying giving.  Then, at times, wondering if we gave so much out of guilt?

Tantrums galore!

Princesses abound!

Memories.  Good and bad.

More wondering: "What year is this?  Why does this feel so strange?  Why do I feel like no time has passed?"

Deliberating, discussing, deciding and then un-deciding again and again.

Too much chocolate, and the weight gain that ensued.

Sadness for friends.  Sadness for strangers.  Deep, deep hurt. 

The pig, and the frog, and the opening mailbox, and the waving snowman (Felicity's favorite lights).

Saying "goodbye" to friends.  Sad.  Feeling alone. 

More wondering......"Where do we belong?"

Depth and beauty and movement and stillness:Les Mis (the book).

Small town.  My Man. Cuddles, good food, a little walk in the cold, and pretending I'm at Downton Abbey.  Tears and hugs and soft, melded hearts.  Goodbye year, for better or for worse! 


2012 will be remembered, at least for now, as the best worst year of my life.  Or, maybe I should say that it contained the hardest moment(s) of my life, yet it was full of numerous surprisingly tender and life-giving moments.  I've never known sorrow and pain like I did this year, but I've also never known depths of love and beauty as I have this year.  Saying "goodbye" to this year causes me to ache, but saying "hello" to 2013 brings a welcome feeling of hope.  Cheers, friends!