And then there were three

Well, it's about time that I shared all the gory details of my labor story. Well okay I won't really share all the gory details because I just don't feel comfortable doing that on the internet. But seriously, any details that are not included you are more than welcome to ask me about. As a friend of mine always says, "I am an open book." And I am....ask away!

As you probably already know, I went into the hospital to be induced on Tuesday, April 6 because my doctor felt it would be best for Felicity to come on out. So, because I trust him because he brought both me and my sister into the world over 20 years ago, I decided to comply. Daniel got off work early and my sister Kristin and my Mom came over to help us to get things in order before going to the hospital. By 4 p.m. Daniel and I were at Northside Hospital. It took quite a while to fill out all of the paperwork and it left me wondering how people who are truly in labor have time and patience to sit and sign pages and pages of stuff. Hmm.

The first of many nice nurses who cared for me, Carol, checked me and confirmed that I was still indeed only 1 cm dilated so I would receive Cervidil to help my body to further dilate. At 7 p.m. the Cervidil was inserted. I was supposed to be able to rest all night while Cervidil did its job and then receive Pitocin in the morning to start the contractions, but alas, we did not go according to the plan! My contractions quickly picked up and occured about every 4 minutes at first, but were rapidly growing closer together and more intense, i.e. more painful. Daniel and I decided to watch Hannah Montana the movie. Haha I know this sounds quite humorous but we had started it the night before and just had to see what happened in the end. So, we rested in bed, watched the movie, contacted friends, and ate dinner still assuming that things would go according to plan.

The nurses had encouraged me to take Ambien so that I could sleep through the worsening contractions, so I finally agreed after some persuasion. At midnight I took the Ambien and was told I only had about 20 more minutes that I could walk around because walking is not adviced while on a medication used to make you sleep! So, I continued walking around as long as I was allowed because being up and moving or rocking in a chair was the only way that I could get some relief from the increasingly intense pain from contractions. Because the nurses told me I should be able to sleep through the contractions, I finally got in bed thinking either that a) the Cervidil was working much quicker than expected or b) I was a total wimp for thinking that the pain I was feeling was intense because I was supposed to have many many more hours of labor left and this was just the beginning of the pain! So, from about 1-2 a.m., Daniel slept on his tiny little couch-bed and I dozed in and out of weird Ambien/hippy dreams to be awakened for a minute-long contraction every 3 minutes. At 2 I finally woke Daniel up because the pain was increasing and laying in bed just seemed impossibly uncomfortable for me. For the next hour Daniel helped me to deal with the pain while I rocked and tried going to the bathroom several times (I felt like I had to go but nothing ever came out! Hmm...I knew labor was surely moving quicker than expected at the point, but the nurses seemed to think I was just being whiney!)

Finally at 3 a.m. a nurse agreed to check my cervix because the Cervidil has been in for 8 hours at the point. She checked me and was very surprised to find that I was already dilated to 5 cm. She removed the Cervidil and decided that it would be a great time to get my epidural. So, I was hooked up to the IV to receive some fluids to combat low blood pressure often brought on by an epidural. Now, for those of you who know me well, you know that I am not a big fan of taking any sort of medication for pain, sickness, etc. Thus, the reason I was initially opposed to getting an epidural. However, because of the anomaly on my brain (most likely not problematic, but it could be at some point in my life) my doctor said he would be more comfortable if I got an epidural, so I agreed to get one. I was slightly disappointed with this though because I wanted to be able to experience all the pain of labor, as crazy as it sounds! But, like I said, I agreed to get the epidural and had the nurse send in the anesthesiologist to give it to me. The anesthesiologist arrived at about 4 a.m. and had quite a difficult time giving me the epidural because at that point I was having intensely painful contractions every other minute and I had "the shakes" like crazy! Daniel and the nurse literally had to hold me down while I got the epidural. Because I was moving so much, the anesthesiologist missed on his first try and sent blood spewing out of my back (now doesn't that sound quite dramatic?!). But, he succeeded on his second try. Daniel, who has a passion for anesthesia (except he gives it to animals!), was quite impressed with the skill of the anesthesiologist. As I was receiving the epidural, I cried out that something was coming out of me that didn't feel like it should be. After receiving the epidural, the nurse decided to take a look and also to see how far dilated I was. Imagine our surprise (well I wasn't too surprised considering how I felt!) when the nurse saw that my unruptured bag of waters had come out! That is what came out of me that didn't quite feel right! The nurse was both surprised and giddy with excitement because apparently that rarely ever happens (when a woman's "water breaks", the bag of waters ruptures. If this doesn't happen before labor begins, the doctor usually breaks it.) When she checked me, she found that I was already dilated 10 cm. I went from 5 to 10 cm in an hour! In other words, it was time to push! This was great news for me considering the fact that I was resistant to the idea of receiving an epidural. Many women say that the transition phase, when you dilate for 7-8 cm to 10 cm, is the most painful part of labor and I was so glad that I got to experience that part of labor without an epidural! The epidural did provide some welcome relief though as I waited for the doctor to arrive and for the nurses to prepare for Felicity's arrival.

Speaking of doctors, my doctor was busy delivering another baby so we had the hospital's doctor on-call come to deliver Felicity. Soon after she came to my room, she had to leave to deliver another baby! It was quite a busy time a Northside Hospital! So, our wonderful nurse and Daniel coached me through most of the pushing! (Daniel was a most excellent coach, by the way.) I admit that I was an awful pusher though! Between having the Ambien and the fresh epidural, I could feel nothing and could hardly stay awake. I was literally falling asleep between contractions. After many minutes of pushing, the nurse suggested we take a break and I gladly accepted that offer. While dozing in and out of sleep, I asked Daniel to download "Eye of the Tiger" to inspire me as I pushed. Yep, seriously. So, he quickly got on I Tunes and obliged. Why "Eye of the Tiger" you ask? That song always makes me want to wake up really early and go running. Seriously. I never do, it just makes me want to. In other words, it gets me pumped up!!! So, the nurse returned and eventually the doctor came back and I continued pushing while "Eye of the Tiger" played on repeat in the background. After about an hour and a half of pushing, Felicity finally made her entrance into the world! It was a truly beautiful moment that I wouldn't trade for the world. After I held her for a bit, Felicity was quickly whisked away to be checked out by the nurse. She was brought back to me once they saw that she was healthy and I was able to feed her for the first time. What a blessing! And thus began our lives together....

Meant to Be

I started this blog post about a week ago. Ha! Caring for a newborn has obviously eaten up all my time, but it is more than worth it! So,while Felicity naps, here goes:

This time last year, I was not thinking about having children any time in the near future. Sure, Daniel and I had had the "when do we want to have kids?" conversation several times, but 2010 was never part of the plan. Daniel was leaning toward wanting to try about a year after his graduation (which would be right about now), but I wanted at least 2-3 years of kid-free time post graduation. I wanted to follow that advice that I had heard so many times before: "Wait a long time before having kids! Go live your life before you're tied down to your children!"

However, once I quit my job and had some time to pray about finding my calling, I could not deny the fact that a mother was what I wanted to be. This was obvious to Daniel before it was to me, as I took several pregnancy tests when I stopped taking birth control (for reasons other than wanting to get pregnant) and always ended up feeling disappointed when I saw the negative test results. I always asked him, "Why am I sad that this is negative?! I don't want kids right now!" and he always answered, "I think it's because you actually want to have kids now". As always, it took me longer to admit my true heart's desire. Being honest with yourself is scary, isn't it?

So, once I was finally honest with myself, we tried....and succeeded....very quickly. And I haven't felt so right about something in a long time. Caring for Felicity so far has been exhausting, frustrating, and terrifying. Until last night, I hadn't slept for more than 2 hours at a time in almost 2 weeks. I am already tired of changing diapers and we are already almost out of wipes. Breastfeeding can be messy and discouraging. I am still sore from the delivery. But, I could really care less about all of these things that seem to be working against me. I can't complain, not even for a second. Well, I guess I may have complained a little, but even when things get difficult I am very glad that Felicity is here. Even in the most challenging times, I don't doubt that being a mom is what I should be doing and what I want to be doing right now.

To Conclude: I guess I would say that while I may have missed out on some of those "Live it up!" years, what I never realized (and definitely never would have admitted in college) is that raising Felicity can be more fulfilling than any of the plans I had back then. Turns out, settling down isn't settling at all...

FYI on the Picture: This picture was taken at the hospital after all of our visitors had left for the night. While it isn't the most artistic, it's one of my favorites. Felicity and I had a few uninterrupted minutes between feeding/changing/burping her and before I collapsed in a heap on the bed. I so cherish these quiet moments with Felicity.

Felicity's Blog Debute!

It's Kristin again! And as promised, here are some pictures from my visit to the hospital this morning.

Kirby, Daniel, and Felicity are all doing great, with the exception of being extremely exhausted!!! I have total liberty to brag (because I'm the aunt and that's what I'm supposed to do) that Felicity is beautiful. She didn't make a peep the whole time we were visiting either!

Here's a small sampling of the photo shoot! More to come later!

She's here!!!

Hi Everyone!!

This is Aunt Kristin writing for Kirby since she's a little tied up being a mom at the moment!

Felicity Mae Cleland was born at 7:00 AM this morning!! She is 7 lbs. 4 ounces and 20 & 1/2 inches long. She is getting cleaned up and taken care of as I type. I promise to take lots of pictures and post them for all to see hopefully later today.

Coming Soon...?

This morning, I was prompted to go to the doctor because of some unexpected bleeding. Once I got to the doctor, I found out that, though the bleeding wasn't a problem, I was measuring small and had lost two pounds since yesderday. Ugggghh - I'm having a contraction. Daniel, don't type that... Because of this, the doctor advised me to be induced tonight. Though induction wasn't what I had wanted to happen, I am trusting Dr. Wolfsen in this matter. So, now I am receiving something called Cervadil that will help me to dilate more than one measly centimeter. Unless the Cervadil begins the labor process, I will receive Pitocin tomorrow morning; which will initiate contractions. For now, we are enjoying listening to Felicity's heartbeat on the fetal monitor, and relaxing in our hospital room. Please pray for Daniel and I as we go through the labor experience, for Felicity's health and safety, and for the medical staff's wisdom and discernment. We greatly appreciate your love, support, and prayers.

P.S. Please pray too that we will not be anxious and that we will have favor in this situation.

Cheering for Felicity!

Because unfortunately I don't have time to call each and every one of my friends and family members to inform them of my progress in baby birthing, here is an update:

I am still at home and officially 40 weeks and 2 1/2 days pregnant. 40 weeks is when a baby's due date is, so Felicity could come any day now. I went to the Ob today, and had my membranes stripped. Feel free to ask me privately if you want to know what this means or what it's like. For now I'll just say it's rather painful but was encouraged when, after the procedure, the doctor said, "You're da bomb! You have such a high threshold for pain. I would never let anyone do that to me!" Good things to hear before the pain of child birth sets in (: He stripped my membranes in order to get the prostraglandins, or "contraction starters", pumping through my body.

After that, I was hooked up to a fetal monitor for a non-stress test. One monitor measured Felicity's heartrate, another measured my contractions, and I had to press a button every time Felicity moved. Well Felicity decided to take a nap, so I had to have a snack to wake her back up again, so the test took longer than normal. Anyways, in the end, Felicity moved around and seemed to be dealing well with the contractions. The Ob then asked me if I wanted to be induced, and I told him I'd rather give Felicity a little more time to come out on her own. He agreed to this but had me make an appointment for this Thursday morning. And, from the way I understand things, if I haven't had Felicity by Thursday, I will probably be induced soon after that.

Please keep Felicity, Daniel, and I in your prayers as we wait. Thanks friends!

Some Cutie Patooties

I have recently been overwhelmed by the absolute preciousness of all this cute stuff that Felicity has gotten from my friends and family! It would really take me hours to post all of this cute stuff, so for now I'll just show a few.

Monster hat from Christine Peterson. This is classic Christine, what else can I say?! I love the flair! Note the different-sized "horns". I can hardly wait until it's cold enough to put this on Felicity!

Precious sweater and hat handmade by Kathryn Neidhardt. What a special gift! I will treasure this for many years to come! I think everyone was totally wowed by this when I received this at my shower! I am so touched that Kathryn took the time to make this for my girl!

Mother Goose nursery rhymes, given by one of my new Atlanta friends, Anne Dicks. I love the classic look of it and I am such an advocate of reading to children early and often!

Gap smocked romper from my Mom! My mom has always had great taste and this just goes to prove it. My sister, Kristin, also got Felicity an adorable romper from Gap but it is currently packed in my hospital bag!

And finally, some baby bloomers and a precious burp cloth embroidered by Aunt Pam (Cleland)! Things don't get much cuter than this! Personalized gifts are so special!

I hope everyone has a beautiful Good Friday and enjoys worshipping our Savior this weekend! Thanks again to my incredibly kind friends and family for all of the sweet stuff you've gotten for my little girl!